Never Ever
by YOjulie
Summary: Cat love's beck, but she doesn't think he feels the same way? how does she cope?  will they be together?  Songfic & Oneshot Sorry summary sucks!


Never Ever

Summary: Cat love's beck, but she doesn't think he feels the same way? how does she cope?

will they be together? [Songfic & Oneshot]

Song: Ciara - Never Ever

I didn't use the whole song only some of it (:

Hope you enjoy !

I don't own Victorious

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><p>Cats POV<p>

They were at it again; don't they ever come out for air? Yep I'm talking about Beck & Jade. Standing there sucking each other's faces can't they get a room? I mean not everyone wants to see two people trying to swallow each other. Ughh listen to me I sound like a jealous ex-girlfriend which I'm not, I just… like Beck well not like more like… love & he knows it too, if only he felt the same way.

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

I saw Beck standing at his locker putting some books away 'Hi Beck' I said smiling. Beck turns around 'Oh, hey Cat' he says as he runs his hand through his hair, wow that hair … snap out of it Cat 'where's Jade?' I ask curiously I hadn't seen her all day 'Oh, she's sick so she won't be in today' he answers as he zips up his bag. 'Oh, well I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch with me' I ask nervously & a bit too fast. Beck raised his eyebrows and gave me a funny look 'look Cat i-''as friends that's all' I add in before he could finish. 'Thanks cat but I think it would mean something different to you…' Beck says. The bell rings 'well I better get to class' Beck says & walks off. I stand there & sigh I'm such an idiot.

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

I sat on my bed crying my eyes out; I completely embarrassed myself I'm sure Beck thought I was a loser for even asking. What if he tells Jade? She'll chew me up & spit me out like bubblegum. Out of all guys in the school why Beck? Tell me heart why did you choose Beck? Why? I hate that I love him it's turning me inside out & worst part is he doesn't love me beck & he never will. So why do I keep trying? Why do I keep hoping that there might be something? When obviously there's nothing. Why?

_I know you think that I just be trippin on ya boy you see_

_But this ain't how I normally be_

_But I can't help this jealousy_

_Ooh it's taking over me, Ooh I'm falling way to deep_

I see Tori & Andrew talking & eating & then I see Jade & Beck… well you know trying to swallow each other AGAIN. I feel so angry but I shouldn't be feeling this way. I make my way over to the table as I got there I "accidentally" trip & spill my tray of food all over Beck & Jade. 'What the hell Cat!' Jade yells as she runs off to the bathroom 'Whoa there lil red you ok?' Andre asks as he helps me up 'OMG I'm so sorry I didn't mean too I tripped & dropped my tray' I say feeling really bad 'it's ok' Beck says 'No it's not' I say feeling really guilty, tears forming in my eyes, Tori stands up 'Cat are you ok? You're not acting like yourself?' Tori asks I quickly wipe my tears away 'Yeah I'm fine, I uhh need to go' I say & then run off.

_But I, gotta come down to earth, I don't _

_Wanna_

_But I, gotta let you go, but baby I don't_

_Wanna_

_And I, I gotta see that you and me, aint_

_Mean to be._

_That's what I tell myself_

I'm sitting on my bed AGAIN crying my eyes out how could I be so stupid to spill my food on Beck & Jade? It wasn't the first time I've "accidentally" spilled my food on them I've "accidentally" locked Jade In the janitors closet & I've "accidentally" hit Jade during a Stage Fighting scene. I can't control myself anymore, I'm losing it. I dream about me & Beck being together & being happy just the way I want it to be until I wake up. I need to be real & get over Beck I'm spending my nights crying myself to sleep over a boy who doesn't love me a guy who will _never ever_ love me. Is this the way I'm going to live my life? Loving somebody else's boyfriend I'm such a freak, I'm so disgusted with myself this isn't me. My cousin once told me "No matter what happens Cat, don't lose who you are" I frowned, because I already have.

_Baby, I can't help but fantasize_

_Wondering what it might be like_

_You & I sound so right _

_But imma let it go tonight._

I walk into the bathroom, close the door & lock it. I stare at myself in the mirror who are you? I don't know. I grab a razor off the shelf & look at it; I look back up in the mirror, why am I doing this to myself? Because the boy I love, loves somebody else tears start sliding down my cheeks, I start to feel dizzy now I see two of me in the mirror 'I love you Beck Oliver' I whisper before it goes black.

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

No One's POV

"Last night a young female body was found yesterday dead in her own home, police believe that the young female may have committed suicide it has not yet been confirmed but is still under investigation. We can tell you that the young female found was Caterina Valentine a student who attended Hollywood Arts."

**Funeral**

They all stood there in front of her open casket shocked, the happy, bubbly, little red headed girl they knew took her own life. Tears were falling from their eyes this can't be real. Tori, Andre & Robbie leave not being able to handle the fact the Cat is gone. 'Come on she wouldn't want us to stand here and cry over her' Jade says too Beck as she grabs his hand 'No, I'm gonna stay ill catch up with you later' Beck says 'Ok' Jade says as she kisses his cheek & walks out. Beck stares at Cat & cries. 'I love you Caterina Valentine always have & always will'.

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

_If that boy don't love you by now_

_He will never ever, never ever love you_

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><p>Thank you for reading! hope you all enjoyed it :)<p>

please review & tell me what you think

_x  
><em>


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